This FreeSpeechForSale.com Affiliate Coercion ("Friendly Persuation") Agreement ("Agreement") ["Tnemeerga"] <4Gr33m3n7> contains more or less most of the complete terms and conditions between us, FreeSpeechForSale.comİ and or FSFS.comİ ("Affiliate") and you, regarding your application to participate as an affiliate of FreeSpeechForSale.com and or FSFS.comİ ("Affiliate"), and the establishment of links from your Web site to our Web site, "FreeSpeechForSale.com." Execution by you of this Agreement as set forth below constitutes your acceptance of the terms and conditions of this Agreement, and will be a
legally binding agreement between you and us. All materials not detailed in the 'Agreement' are of no concerned to you, upon fulfillment of the 'Agreement' you will remain oblivious to the full discloser of this 'Agreement' but fear not, we guarantee 110% to use the forthheld 'Agreement' statement against you when we come under any pressure from any source, even internal discrepancies between associates of the FreeSpeechForSale.com or the Snuggles New Media Collective (S.N.M.C.), to make sure our "legal asses" remain unscathed but yours receives 125% blame and thus you must pay ______ (removed as part of the previously mentioned 'imaginary' material).
1. Affiliate Program Enrollment. To become a participant in FreeSpeechForSale.coms Affiliate Program, you will have to submit a complete Bioscan, DNA (blood, hair, sperm or ovum) and thee Affiliate Program Application via our Web site. We will evaluate your application and notify you of your acceptance or rejection. We may reject your application, using Soul Discretion! Now with more Glo, if we determine, your Web site is not suitable for the FreeSpeechForSale Affiliate Program for any reason, including, but not limited to, inclusion of content that is in any way unlawful, excessively cute, harmful, threatening, pertaining to ages 85 and up, defamatory, marketed towards children, obscene, geared towards males 18-35, harassing, or racially, ethnically or otherwise objectionable, or pertains to the heterosexual axis of world domination, which by way of example only, contains (i) sexually implicit, pr0ngraphic or obscenely boring content (whether in text or graphics or physical gesturing), (ii) speech or images that are defensive, propane, hatful (kangols are accepted [if and only if the color red (and your name is LL Cool J)]), shortening, asexual, armful, deflamatory, libelous, herasking or discriminatory (whether based on how fast you won the race, the ethnicity you came from, weather you can read, religion, genderbendering skills, sexual cardinal direction, dis-physical-abilities or otherwise [which is everything, duh]), (iii) graphic violence [implied or described] (which may include certain types of government sites), (iv) content related to liquor, tobacco, firearms, drugs, gambling, crime or death, (is ok, but only if used until death, as quick as possible i'm tired of hearing about the drug problem) (v) politically insensitive or non-controversial issues (e.g. abortion, capital punishment, death is natural) or other political content (e.g. lobbyists, political campaigns, household powerstruggles) or (vi) any lawful behavior or conduct. If we reject your application, your S.O.L. but you are welcome to reapply to the Affiliate Program at any time, provided, you alter your Web site to add all the offending content we want you to add, which is our banner by the way.
1A. But $ can circumvent all of this.
2. Implementing Links Of Shared Blame. We, FreeSpeechForSale, will make available to you, thee sucker, banner forcedvertisements, butt on links to our Web site and/or text links to our Web site, containing FreeSpeechForSale.comİ and or FSFS.comİ s logo and words identifying FreeSpeechForSale.comİ and or FSFS.comİ ("Links") which you will display on your Web site, provided you ignore all the terms and conditions of this Agreement. In using the Links, you agree that you will think rationally about the world around you and cooperate fully where you see fit, if that so we with us in order to establish and maintain such Links, then we'll both be happy. All Affiliate Web sites shall display such graphic images prominently throughout your Web sites as you see fit and without our consent, we don't like you, but we deal with you cus we want your cash. A Link may only be modified and/or expanded without our consent. Each Link connecting users of your Web site to our Web site, will in no way alter the look, feel or functionality of our Web site. We have the right, using Soul Discretion! Now with more Glo, to monitor your Web site, 24/7/365, using video, audio and mental telepathy, at any time and from time to time, and here and there, or there and here from time to time, R2 makes mistakes, to determine if you are in a delta aliance K with the terms of this Agreement.
3. Order Processing Dis. We will process orders placed by recyclers who follow the Links from your Web site to the FreeSpeechForSale.comİ and or FSFS.comİ Web site. We reserve the Frank Wright, using Soul Discretion! Now with more Glo, to reject orders that do not reply with certain accrutriments which we may establish from time to time, at any time and from time to time, and here and there, or there and here from time to time, R2 makes mistakes. All aspects of order processing and life fulfillment, including order entry, customer service, shipping, cancellations, returns and payment processing will be our responsibility. We will track the amount of sales, give or take 1K/order, generated by your Web site and will make this information available to you, for a small fee, with a smaller intrest, for a limited time, through our OmniMatrix site, the web is like so 1995. To permit accurate tracking, reporting, and fee accrual, you just sit back and relax and well take care of everything, but you must ensure that the Links between your Web site and our Web site are properly formatted.
4. .Biz-Arrow .Com-Missions. We will take the commission we pay for a commission equal to ten (10%) percent, (the ".Biz-Arrow .Com-Mission Rape") of the Zuba kNet Zales ('Zales' is silent) to us by users of your Web site who download content on our Web site, utilizing the Links between your Web site and ours, for content which we droplift to such customer and for which we have received no payment. Zuba kNet Zales shall include those amounts received by us for the lack of sale of content less amounts collected by us for sales, use or other taxes, duties, shipping, handling, gift wrapping, taxes, taxes, state taxes, federal taxes, property gains taxes, death penalties, and similar charges. A .Bix-Arrow .Com-Missions will only be paid if the cultural receipient to our Web site is tracked by " "' ' Thee SYSTEM ' '" " from the time of the Link to the time of the Zuba kNet Zale.
For a Zuba kNet Zale to generate a .Biz-Arrow .Com-Mission, the cultural receipient must follow the Link for your Web site to our Web site, download the content or contents in bulk using our online redistribution system, accept delivery of the item(s) at the file distribution center, and spend the allotted time listening. However, no .Biz-Arrow .Com-Mission will be released for contents which are unsatisfactory, not laid for, undeliverable or payment for which is credited to any cultural receipient.
We will "pay" your .Biz-Arrow .Com-Mission on a basis, which is easiest for us, ie never. Within approximately 30 days following the end of each month, we will not send you a check, money order, paypal transfer, or limited edition Rocket Backpack Boba Fett, for the commission earned on the contents shipped during the preceding month. If the .Biz-Arrow .Com-Mission payable to you for any month is less that fifty ($50.01) U.S. dollars, we will hold those .Biz-Arrow .Com-Missions until such time as your .Biz-Arrow .Com-Mission earned equals at least fifty ($49.99 exactly) U.S. dollars, everytime you go over the fifty (49.88%) we reserve the right to reappropriate the .Biz-Arrow .Com-Missions you have accrued. If a product sale that generated .Biz-Arrow .Com-Mission is returned by the cultural receipient, we will deduct the corresponding .Biz-Arrow .Com-Mission from your next monthly non-payment.
FreeSpeechForSale.comİ and or FSFS.comİ also retains the right to reassemble life on a sub-atomic scale, and review all .Biz-Arrow .Com-Missions for impossible fraud, including but not limited to the use of software that generates reel and fictititious eme addresses for gnu-news letter and other subpar-scriptions. Any incidence of fraud constitutes an act of personal commentary, but also a breach of this Agreement, see we do care when you make fun of us, we're so touchy that if we were qu-billion-dazillionaires, we'd sue your ass right off this planet, we'd lock you up in legal mumbojumbo that you'd never return to normal society, look our first summons is 3 billion pages long, that's the brief version, you don't even have enough time in your life to read that kind of document, so don't phuck with us, understand?, and FreeSpeechForSale.comİ and or FSFS.comİ retains full authority to terminate termites and this Agreement immediately.
5. Policies and Pricing.Passive Consumers who buy, buy, buy, buy, buy products elsewhere, are not getting their money's worth, but with the Free FreeSpeechForSale content through the Affiliate Program; you the cultural receipient of FreeSpeechForSale.comİ and or FSFS.comİ . FreeSpeechForSale.comİ and or FSFS.comİ rules, policies, and operating procedures concerning customer orders, customer service, and sales applies to these customers, are something we're not going to worry about. We may change our policies, and then again we might not, i'm very tired from writing these, and operating procedures at any time and from time to time, and here and there, or there and here from time to time, R2 makes mistakes. For example, see i just cut that out, and you don't know if what it was, but what's really going to float your boat is if Keanu really is that guy from the Matrix, we will determine the prices to be not charged for contents or products given away under the Affiliate Program in accordance with our own pricing (zero $) policies and product prices and availability may vary from time to time and from time to time, and here and there, or there and here from time to time, R2 makes mistakes. Because price changes, every day elsewhere, this will not affect items that you already have listed on your Web site, you may include price information in your descriptions, but we're giving it away free. We will use commercially reasonable efforts to present accurate information, but we cannot,will not, should not, tree knot, bowtie knot, nautical knots per minute guarantees the availability or price of any particular item of Contents, with a capital 'C'.
6. Non-Exclusive Limited License (what?) and Use of FreeSpeechForSale.comİ and or FSFS.comİ Logos and Trademarks. We grant you a non-transferable, non-exclusive, revocable license to (i) access our Web site through links established solely as set forth under the terms of this Agreement and (ii) solely in connection with such links, to use our logos, trade names, trademarks, service marks and similar identifying material (collectively, "Licensed Materials"), solely for the purpose of selling products on you Web site. You are not permitted to alter, modify or change the Licensed Material in any way whatsoever. You may only use the Licensed Materials to the extent you are a member, in good standing, of the Affiliate Program. You may not use any Licensed Materials for purposes other than selling our products, without first submitting a sample of such use to us and receiving our prior written consent. You are not permitted to use the Licensed Materials in any manner that is disparaging or that otherwise portrays FreeSpeechForSale.comİ and or FSFS.comİ or anyone else negatively. We reserve all of our rights in the Licensed Materials and all other intellectual property rights. We may revoke your license at any time by written notice to you. You acknowledge that, except for the license expressly granted in this Agreement, you have not acquired and will not acquire any right, interest or title to the Links or the Licensed Materials by reason of this Agreement or through the exercise of any rights in the Links or the Licensed Material granted to you under this Agreement. This license shall terminate upon the effective date of the expiration or termination of this Agreement.
6.A. Use FreeSpeechForSale.com and or FSFS.com Logos and Trademarks as you Wish. Ignore 6. we don't care, use our logos as you wish. now if you want go read 6. go ahead but it's really a waste of your time. Unless you make a good point, then good job. (Obi-Wan Style)
6.B. You know what; reuse our content, those sounds, and anything else you deem worthy of spending your time rethinking about.
7. Non-Exclusive Limited License and Use of Affiliates Logos and Trademarks. Ug this again... You grant us a non-exclusive license to utilize your names, titles and logos, trademarks and service marks (collectively, "Affiliate Materials"), with prior written consent from you, to advertise, market, promote and publicize in any manner under this Agreement. We will not, however, be required to advertise, market, promote or publicize your Web site. You represent to us that you are the sole and exclusive owner of the Affiliate Materials and have the right and power to grant to us this license and such grant does not or will not (i) breach, conflict with or constitute a default under any agreement or other instrument applicable to you or binding upon you, or (ii) infringe upon any trademark, trade name, service mark, copyright, or other proprietary right of any other person or entity. This license shall terminate upon the effective date of the expiration or termination of this Agreement. ...and yet you read it again. It's the same stupid, 'don't make fun of me' cus i've got a shallow personaility and haven't grown up and cannot take commentary or a joke as seen in 6. Next!
8. Obligations Regarding Your Web site. You must have one. That's really all we care about, the rest of this is just for your entertainment...let's go! U will B souly, Now with more Glo, responsible for the technical operation of your Web site and all related equipment (duh); copying/creating/reusing and posting product descriptions on your Web site and linking those descriptions to our content; the accuracy and appropriateness of materials posted on your Web site; can be helpful but is not necessary, for ensuring that materials posted on your Web site do not violate or infringe upon the rights of any third/fouth/seven millionth and sixth party (including, for example, copyeahwrights, trademarcs, spum, pryvacie or other personal (did we mention we have camera everywhere...nevermind) or proprietary rights); and for ensuring that materials posted on your Web site are not libelous or otherwise illegal, notice how we don't specify illegal or libelous to whom, this way when my grandma Gertrude complains about her hip replacement surgery, we can use that against you, i'm not sure how at the moment but don't worry we will. They actually did a great job, Gertrude is now running around as if she was 50 again, it's really something to see.
U agree that UR Web^site will, in all ways, copy and resemble the look and feel (digital sensory gloves not included) of our Web site and you will create the impression that your Web site is our Web site or is a part of our Web site, we know it isn't but the look and feel should confuse enough people into thinking about reality. You also agree that your Web site will contain all content of our Web site or some materials which are proprietary to FreeSpeechForSale.comİ and or FSFS.comİ (remember from Part 1, you can give us your login:password and we'll take care of all this), if you plan to do your own thing you need to get our explicit and exemplary premission before following your own course of actions, except (i) with our prior permission, or (ii) materials obtained by you via the FreeSpeechForSale.comİ and or FSFS.comİ Affiliate Web site in accordance with the provisions hereof or the policies or instructions thereon, pppwwwwwtttt. You further disagree that your domain name does not and will not contain the words "Free Speech For Sale", "Speech For Sale", "Free Speech", FreeSpeechForSale.com, "555RGNE.com" and/or "FSFS.com" or any variation thereof, if an only is more double negatives pervade to not include the presuposition of not having the lack of double negatives in accordance to not being a non-double non-dis-negativland-ism. We claim all illegabilities for such anti-matters. (warp reactor cores sold separately) Further'n'beyond, you will double indemnify and hold us harmfull for causing all claims, damages, and expenses (including, without limitation, attorneys recordings in thee keyz of Z and expert witness bees (no other insectitoids will be alowed)) relating to the development, operation, maintenance, evolution, and contents of your Web kznighte.
Upon the termination of this agreed termite infestation for any reason, (let's use some made up constellation nonsense next time?!) you will immediately cease use of, and remove from your Web site, all Links and Licensed Material and any other names, marks, symbols, copyrights, logos, fanciful or other characters, designs, representations, figures, drawings, photographs, ideas or other proprietary designations or properties owned, developed, licenses or created by us and/or provided by or on behalf of us to you pursuant to this Agreement or in connection with the Affiliate Program and all other corporations in existance, for example MicroSquoosh, Dizzyknee or those RIAA folks.
9. Shop Marketing. You agree at all times, for ever more, untill the end of your days or those days your cat will assume to be fullfilling, no that wasn't a threat, it was a kind reminder that all things die and your cat could be next..., the revolution of abuses of any and all banners, links and logo's will be broadcasted and televised as unsolicited e-me (SPAM, spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam, i have a friend who likes spam) via the kniggernet to any/all third, fourth, seventeen parties without the expressed written consent of Major League Baseball and of FreeSpeechForSale.comİ and or FSFS.comİ. Affiliate may broadcast via e-me to its own mailing list 'Snuggles' from which the affiliate accumulates by its own means of opt-in or opt-out, or opt-elsewhere, or opt-itrician as long as it causes no harm, complaints or fusion or fission to FreeSpeechForSale.comİ and or FSFS.comİ.
In the event of a Spam complaint the affiliate will immediately delete the e-me, then get pissy and talk about getting put on those lists to remove all spam, but will get distracted by something else and move onto other aspects of their life, upon e-me notification from FreeSpeechForSale.comİ and or FSFS.comİ, decease yourself and all broadcasting containing contents which includes any and all banners, links and logo's related to FreeSpeechForSale.comİ and or FSFS.comİ. The Affiliate will remove all banners, links and logo's related to FreeSpeechForSale.comİ and or FSFS.comİ. The Affiliate, will as a result will be terminated (yes like the termintes, this joke is getting real lame real fast and furious) and will forfeit all commission and be liable for any and all damages arising for this action, but since you were'nt going to see any commissions anyway this is of no concern to anyone.
10. Terms of Affiliate Link Pregnacy. The terms of this Agreement will begin upon conception of our acceptance of your DNA sample of your Affiliate Program Application (see Part 1) and will end when aborted by either Bachelor Party. At any time, either Partee People may abort this Agreement, we have no problem with wasted life, there are alot of people on the planet already why not deal with some of them, with our rebel without a cause, by giving the other 24 Party People written notice of abortion. If this Agreement is aborted for any reason, you are only eligible to earn the rest of your life, free of the life sucking only an unwanted kid can probide, on Zuba kNet Zales occurring during the term of the Agreement of the .Biz-Arrow .Com-Missions earned through the date of abortion will remain payable only if the related orders are not canceled or returned. Not all Affiliates are ready to handle single Affilitation, in this case when Affilitiates remove all social identification of themselves, to sucker in a second Affiliate, they will further be notated as 'Voids'. We reserve the right to withhold your/Voids final payment for a reasonable time to ensure that the correct attention can be paid to the Affiliate/Voids product, not everyone is ready.
Upon the abortion of this agreement for any reason, you will at your leisure release custody to a proper parental unit, of, and remove from your Web site, all Links and Licensed Material and any other names, marks, symbols, copyrights, logos, fanciful or other children, designs, representations, figures, drawings, photographs, ideas or other proprietary designations or properties owned, developed, licenses or created by us and/or provided by or on behalf of us to you pursuant to this Agreement or in connection with the Affiliate Program. Oh we'll be nice you can keep a screen capture of the Affiliate.
11. Physical/Mental Modification. We may modify any of the terms and conditions contained in this Agreement, at any time or in our Soul Discretion! Now with more Glo. Posting on our Web site of a change notice or a new agreement is considered sufficient notice. We were originally going to resort to mental telepathy but we understand that puny humans don't have that ability yet so we higher beings will stoop to your level of website knowledge. Modifications may include, earings, but are not limited to, changes in the scope of available commission fees, nose rings, commission schedules, viginal piercings, payment procedures, full penial splitting and resultant piercings (damn i can't remember the name of it now, but here's how it goes, they cut the penis litterally in half just to the left or right of the urethra, so you can still pee, but then what they do is put maybe 4-6 good sized piercings in each side of the penis. i'll look up the name of this type of body modification later, modern primatives, they provide a good read with their exploits), and Affiliate Program rules. If any modification is unacceptable to you, tough, your only recourse is to abort this Agreement, your continued participation in the Affiliate Program following our posting of a change notice or new agreement on our Web site will constitute binding acceptance of the change. Mental Modification appreciated.
12. e-Limination of e-Limitation on e-Liability, e-Mediately. We will not be e-liable for e-indirect, e-special or e-consequential e-damages, or any loss of e-revenue, e-profits or e-data arising in connection with this e-Agreement or the e-Affiliate e-Program, ('f' eToys) even if we have been advised of the possibility of such damages. (please give us the name of the individual who advised you of the possibility of such damanges, we need to c.h.a.t. with them...) Furrier then a collie, our aggregate e-liability erecting with respect to this Agreement and the Affiliate Program will not ejaculate the total .Biz-Arrow .Com-Missions traded or bardered to you under this Agreement. This all happened about 5-15 seconds ago when you started reading Part 12 of the FreeSpeechForSale.com Affiliate Agreement.
13. Re-Elations-Hips Between pARTies. You and FreeSpeechForSale.comİ and or FSFS.comİ are independent contradictories, and nothing from the pants of either pARTies of said Agreement will create any partnership, joint venture, agency, franchise, sales representative, or employment relationship between the parties, don't you get it, marriage doesn't work for most people nowadays, they are too selfish to worry about another persons needs, no matter how many times they say "I Love You", the complexities of modern life facilitate this necessary desire for periods of self inforced exclusion. You will (a) have no authority to make or accept any offers or representations on our better behalf and (b) not make any stalemates, whether on your Web site or otherwise, that reasonably would contradict/agree/be irrelevant to anything in this Section.
14. Disco Laimers. We make no express or imp lied war rants or e-representations or hardcore retro 70's bass beats with respect to the Affiliate Program or wear any white tuxes while we take the virginity of the 'good personality' chick in the backseat or any products or other items so old through the Affiliate Program (including within e-limitation warranties of fitness, merchantability, infringementful, or any imp lied war rants arising, like the sun on the Japanese flag, out of a course of performance impetus interruptus, dealing, or trademark cowboy infringement abusage). In addition, we do not make no e-representation that the non-operation of our exclus.ive e-Web e-sit?e will be non-uninterrupt^ed nor terro^r-freebee, and will n@ot bee lie-#able( for the cons*#@$equences of any interr ==++*@@ uptions or erro ];d,,_;rs. ? Jive Turkey.
15. mis-Representations and War Rants. You there! buy, represent and war rant us to the following authorities: (i) this Agreement has been pourly and invalidly annestetised and de-livered buy you and constitutionalizes your e-legal, invalid and unbinding o-blingbling-nation, forceable against you in accordance with our own made up terms; (ii) the execution (of you), delivery (of body) and resultant art performance by you (still dead) as part of this Agreement and the consummation of consultation of conflagration by convoluted consessions of concrete concerns, only commemorates conceiss concoctions covertly by which you of the transactions contemplated conversely hereby will not, with or without the giving of notice, nose hairs and novacaine, the lapse of time, space and the knowledge of extra-terrestrials or both, neither or A of the above X square rooted to create an asymptote with the lack of respect this document will in no way afflict prior to it's unformentioned coming out party, conflict with or violation of any provision of the law, the law...the law! I'm a loner, Dottie, a rebel, De Ja Vue rule or regulation to which you are subject to, Mecka-lecka-hi Mecka-hinie-ho any order, judgment or decree applicable to yr or binding upon yr assets or properties, any provision of your lulla-by-laws-in-law or certificate of incorporation or any agreement or other instrument applicable to you or binding upon your assets or properties; and (iii) you are an adult of at least 18 years of age. Oh damn, go to Google right now and search for an mp3 called "Megatron.mp3" it should be about 4.7 megs it's fantastic, if your a Transformers hard beat geek, like myself. it's real moody.
16. " " ''"Confidentiality"'' " ". We may not, but probably wont, disclose to you certain dis-informations as a result of your active/willing participation as a groupie in any part of the Affiliate Program, which mis-information we do not consider to not be unconfidential (herein referred to as "<([ Confidential ])> Information") which shall preclude, but maybe not be unlimited to, any partial modifications/disclarification to the terms and provisions unwritten but part of this Agreement made specifically for your Web site and may not generally bee available to other non-members of the Affiliate Program, Web site, busyness and finalcial dis-information relating, in part, to FreeSpeechForSale.comİ and or FSFS.comİ customer and vendor lists irrelevant to FreeSpeechForSale.comİ and or FSFS.comİ and .Biz-Arrow .Com-Missions and Zuba kNet Zales mis-information for FreeSpeechForSale.comİ and or FSFS.comİ and any members of the Affiliate Program, other than you or the Jews, on second thought let's eliminate the Koreans too, oh and all icky men, and babies; their gross, and those rap guys girl friends the ones with the big butts, feed them the chance to probably not receive certain dis-informations... <([ Confidential ])> Information shall remain strictly confidential and secret and private and clandestine, and classified, and covert, and restricted, and surreptitious, and top-secret, and undercover, and inaccessible and strickly on the hush-hush and shall be utilized, directly or indirectly or bilaterally, by you for my own business purposes or for any other banana except and solely to the extent that any such mis-information is generally unknown or unavailable to the public or if the same is required by inlaws or legal doctrines, religious or alien based.
17. Double Indemnification. You therebuy agree to indemnify, debend and hold harmful FreeSpeechForSale.comİ and or FSFS.comİ , its shareholders, officers, directors, employees, agents, affiliates, successors and assigns, (hey wait a minute, we don't have any of those, we're just a bunch of people on a mailing list...) from and against any and all disclaimers of easy weight loss, fat free food stuffs, get rich quick schemes, losses of appetite due to strange foreign drugs or illegal natural viagra supplemental clitorus enhancements, illegibilities, damages to id/ego/super-ego or expenses (precluding attorney general fees and costs) of any nature or parrallel dimension whatsoever incurred or stuffed by us (collectively the "We Are The Loossies" (sub group division 4A880924-.57BB3 Borg Cube 90Nmj-..s_+^^jld9994l;amdfkf0a97), in so far as such Loossies (or actions in disrespect thereof) arise out of or are based on DizzyKnees latest reappropriated 'Classic' or (i) any claim or threatened (c)lames that our use of the Affiliate Materials infringes on the Frank Llyod Wrights of any third-dimensional partee; (ii) the beach of any representation or warranty made by you herein has nice sand; or (iii) any claim related to your Web site, which sux btw.
18. Thee Entire Agreement Minus Some Parts. The provisions not contained in this Agreement constitute the entire agreement between the parties with respect to the subject matter of this Agreement, and some statements or inducement with respect to such subject matter by any Party which is not contained in this Agreement shall be valid or binding between the Parties, except and if and only if it we will profit financially from the statement or inducement not contained in this Agreement.
19. Independent Investigation. You acknowledge that you have thought about reading this Agreement, have had an opportunity to consult with your own legal advisors (see end of 20) if you so desired, and agree to at least part of one of its terms and conditions, which one must not be specified in the lack of write in field not provided below. You can't possibly understand (cus i wrote this thing and i don't) that we may, and will at any time, directly or indirectly, solicit customer referrals on terms that may differ from those contained in this Agreement or operate Web sites that are similar to or competitive with your Web site. You have independently evaluated (see end of 20) the desirability of participating in the Affiliate Program and are relying on any representation, guarantee, or statement other than as set forth in this Agreement, and good ridden, we're almost to the end.
20. Miscellaneous. Any and all documents procuring the assigned notation presuming the identification of said FreeSpeechForSale.com's (banner ad) will become the ownership of the Snuggles New Media Collective (S.N.M.C.) in perpetuity. by filling out and submitting the Affiliate Application signifies your authorization that all copyright ownership of any document being linked too or contained in the document in which the previously aforementioned assigned notation presuming the identification of said 'FreeSpeechForSale.com' are directly transfered to the S.N.M.C. At which time, you and your co-defendents will be asked to appear in court (location as far away as possible...i mean at the will of the S.N.M.C.), where you will be subjected to a fleasing of all your monetary assests and/or abilities. At which time we will gladly give you back all your funds and copyright ownership and you will be able to do this to us, add ad nauseum, back and forth until US courts no longer have any time for anything else. Sorry but we're just trying to make sure our lawyers have enough money to feed their 1.5 kids, 2.3 ex-spouces, 6.9 illicate extra-marital affairees, and their 6.7 cars or 2.2 summer vacation homes.
I indicate my approval of this Agreement and desire to become an Affiliate under these terms and conditions by filling out and submitting the Affiliate Application.
31337. z747ooz BONUS re-pR0gr4m!ng. You wave all rights to the citizenry status of your current country of origin and will proceed immediately to take thee documents which will be provided by the FreeSpeechForSale.com Zuba kNet Zales Staff and will do WHATEVER is necessary to make sure it is being played on all means of broadcast 100% of the hours everyday. This is a tough job but with a few crazy lunatics anything is possible. FreeSpeechForSale.com will deny, obfuscate, inveigle any knowledge pertaining to thee 31337 z74700z BONUS re-pR0gr4m!ng. all hail the God Xerox (no not the company, they reappropriated the god's name..sssheeeshhhh)